you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
