u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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