You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You are the jesus of drinking
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize