please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
