Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
