hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
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