We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
