Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
