Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
