yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
