is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
