im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
