I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
