oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
My balls are so social today.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize