Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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