Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Randomize
