his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Boobs speak an international language.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I love you.
Bad choice
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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