Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
