Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
