Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Randomize
