You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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