I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
