Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
