That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
