man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
