You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
