i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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