You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
