I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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