sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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