I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize