sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
