mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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