I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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