we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
