Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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