woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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