Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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