Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
