Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
