gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
