Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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