he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize