Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I understand Curling. That high.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
