No awkward lesbian experiences without me
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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