we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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