Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize