My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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