He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
