The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize