Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
