Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
