I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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