so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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