i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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