Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize