can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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