I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
