Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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