Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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