Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
