Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
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