fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
