At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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