I never want to see another naked old woman again.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
