Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize