Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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