Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
