I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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