"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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