I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
