two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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