Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
